Wistful

Oh, how I miss those carefree days in the forest

My. Body. Is. On. Fire. Sensitive to even the mildest discomfort, this body-encompassing rash I am having is not easy to tolerate. I attribute it to the state of my life now. My recent lifestyle is keeping me chained down. My days are ridden with inactivity, restlessness, lots of sugary and overly decadent foods, and to show its anger (or just possibly stricken with some disease), my body decides to flare-up. As a result, my mental state begins to become a tad depressed, anxious, and guilty too. And I feel as if there's nothing I can do about it. I feel trapped in this perpetual lifestyle of striving for success as the sacrifice of my health.

I want to run in the forests everyday. I want to swim. I want to dive into a sea of icy cold water to escape the itch--anything that'll distract me from this irritating sensation. I want my body to return to the way it was several weeks ago, when there was no ceaseless itching or general discomfort. I want the sunshine and to rejuvenate my atrophying muscles. 

I want the opportunity and time just to walk around the neighborhood and smile at the gardens

But why is it so difficult now? Sure, I'm getting matters at hand accomplished (I just completed my school's 2012 yearbook publication, with the last deadline being today), but what use are the small successes right now if I'm not getting to do what I truly want to--enjoying life and my health?

At least my terrariums are flourishing wonderfully, giving me small moments of happiness in these forlorn days.